The Telephone Hour and Twenty Five Minutes
by Bittersweet Romanticide
Summary: Ash sent her a rather insulting Valentine's Day poem via text. Well, she can't let him get away with it, can she? AAML, fluff, texting war, oneshot.


_Snickering. Open phone. Flying fingers._

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Sent from ASH 8:35

Roses are Red,  
Violets are blue,  
No guy alive  
Would want to date you.

Happy Valentine's Day! (here's a picture of chocolate because you're alone!)

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Sent from MISTY 8:50

Violets are Blue,  
Roses are red,  
No girl alive  
wants a guy who's been dead  
Happy Valentine's Day! (You get nothing because you're an ass)

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Sent from ASH 8:52

Marril is blue,  
Pikachu's yellow,  
The guy that you date?  
I feel bad for that fellow.

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Sent from MISTY 8:53

Your mom hates your face  
And I do as well  
Take Valentine's wishes  
And go straight to hell.

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Sent from ASH 8:57

Gees, that's mean.  
I'm kinda upset.  
You haven't even said  
Hello to me yet.

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Sent from MISTY 8:58

Neither have you  
And I don't mind.  
Why say that stuff  
on Valentines?

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Sent from ASH 9:00

I really don't know.  
I guess I was bored.  
But isn't an insult  
better than being ignored?

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Sent from MISTY 9:00

No.

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Sent from ASH 9:02

That didn't rhyme.  
You're not good at this.  
Your timing is off  
And your insults are miss.

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Sent from MISTY 9:03

…You're _enjoying_ this, aren't you?

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Sent from ASH 9:05

Italitics in texting?  
I'm pretty impressed.  
(No one says that  
When they see how you're dressed)

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Sent from MISTY 9:08

You're an ass  
And I hate your rhyme.  
This is so stupid.  
I don't have the time.

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Sent from ASH 9:09

But you'll still text back!  
I know that you will.  
Me, Brock, n' Dawn  
Are climbing over a hill.

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Sent from MISTY 9:10

This is stupid. I'm not rhyming. Have a happy freaking Valentine's Day.

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Sent from ASH 9:12

Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
Will you text back  
When I say 'I love you?'

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Sent from MISTY 9:12

No.

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Sent from ASH 9:13

Roses are red,  
Phones hold mail.  
What you did right there?  
I'd call that fail.

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Sent from MISTY 9:13

What's that mean?

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Sent from MISTY 9:15

Oh. Haha. –sarcastic- Yeah. I texted back "no" when you asked if I would text back. Yeah. Hilarious. Shut the hell up.

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Sent from ASH 9:16

Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
You know I won't say  
That I love you.

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Sent from MISTY 9:17

Could you stop with the insults?

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Sent from ASH 9:30

Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
I was talking to Dawn  
And I think I might sorta have a crush on you.

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Sent from ASH 9:30

Sorry! Ignore that! I pressed send accidentally.

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Sent from ASH 9:30

I meant that Dawn texted it and sent it. Not me.

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Sent from MISTY 9:33

So why'd you say you pressed send accidentally?

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Sent from ASH 9:34

Because I did.

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Sent from MISTY 9:35

So you texted it. Not Dawn.

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Sent from ASH 9:39

No. She did. But I accidentally pressed send.

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Sent from ASH 9:44

…I'm guessing you don't believe me.

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Sent from ASH 9:52

So, if I did send it, what would you say?

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Sent from MISTY 9:56

Violets are blue,  
Roses are red,  
Like I'd miss this chance  
To mess with your head?

(you're totally in love with me).

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Sent from ASH 9:57

I didn't mean it!

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Sent from ASH 9:57

You better not make fun of me!

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Sent from MISTY 9:58

:P

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Sent from ASH 9:58

Misty!

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Sent from MISTY 10:00

Happy Valentine's Day, Ash. ;)

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_Giggling. Press phone to chest. Fall back on bed._

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**Ungodly amount of Author's Notes (feel free to ignore because they are mostly irrelevant):**

So, is it a rule of pokémon that everyone wants in Ash's pants? Because I think it's slowly becoming a rule that Ash can't meet a girl without her obviously wanting in his pants. Once upon a time Ash met girls who didn't like him, or, at the very least, who were disinterested or could simply be whores (oh, darn. Now I have to T-rate this). Nowadays, every single time a girl pops in it inevitably ends in, "Wow, Ash is really hot. I would enjoy getting into his pants." Only not in those words. In kid words. But we all know that they mean they want in his pants.

-sad sigh- I still wish Dawn had a better reaction when asked if she was in love with Ash. I'd rather have a blushing freak out than that bland, "Oh my goodness, no!". My dream would be for her to be asked if she's madly in love with Ash, and she bursts out in hysterical laughter (any girl could od it, really, but because I adore Dawn it'd be so much better if it was her). I decided to construe the rest of her comments as, "Who would ever like that _moron_?" than "Grr, jealousy."

And was anyone else a big enough book nerd to have _His Dark Materials_ flashbacks every time someone said "Lyra".

My Valentine's Day present is that _Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood_ aired on Cartoon Network aired last night. I'm not going to lie – I fangirl squealed with joy and danced.

Since it's Valentine's Day, your special assignment is to pick out a sentence from this fic that's either already pretty innuendo out of context, or make it one by adding, "your mom said that last night" or "in your pants".

_Happy Valentine's Day!_


End file.
